Not much tonight.
I've had quite an emotional weekend, travelling up to Evans Head to see my neice and nephew for my Neice's 21st birthday. Emotional because these are my brother's children - he suicided 17 years ago, when they were very young. They have grown to be such beautiful people. I am proud of them. They are both so excited about my baby.
Sometimes there are no words.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
14 Weeks
Hello World - I'm back.
I hadn't anticipated how strange things would be once we went "public" with our news. There's been much joy and celebration. My Mother-In-Law (think Maree from Everybody Loves Raymond) said "Well we've been waiting a long time for this." I tried not to look took scathing as I replied "You have, I haven't."
But overwhelmingly the feeling is one of happiness and excitement. People tell me what a great Mum I will be and I try hard not to look astonished (because truly I haven't really thought that far ahead, not in great detail, just to the point of getting it out really!).
The best response was from my colleagues who I told at about one mintue to nine before the bell rang for lessons to start. By 11am, there was a full morning tea for me including flowers and gifts! They are such lovely people. All of them are parents, some grandparents, and yet they all give me the same advice - don't listen to any advice!
Matthew and I have started a list of names and we even bought a little baby outfit yesterday! Cluck cluck cluck! I vacilate between extreme happiness and extreme saddness. I am either anxious or relaxed. I can't seem to settle on a happy medium, so today I've rewarded myself with a day off to chill out. Bloody hormones.
A big BIG thank you to all the excited well-wishers who left me happy and encouraging messages. I'm not sure about projectile lactation and I'm not sure I really want to know... but thanks again!
A cyber hug to my Uncle Brad who I know is thinking of me. I've been thinking of him too and imagining his bitchy reply to my local shop owner who asked me outright if I was preganant because "You look like you've put on a lot of weight!"
More again soon. Assume no news is good news.
I hadn't anticipated how strange things would be once we went "public" with our news. There's been much joy and celebration. My Mother-In-Law (think Maree from Everybody Loves Raymond) said "Well we've been waiting a long time for this." I tried not to look took scathing as I replied "You have, I haven't."
But overwhelmingly the feeling is one of happiness and excitement. People tell me what a great Mum I will be and I try hard not to look astonished (because truly I haven't really thought that far ahead, not in great detail, just to the point of getting it out really!).
The best response was from my colleagues who I told at about one mintue to nine before the bell rang for lessons to start. By 11am, there was a full morning tea for me including flowers and gifts! They are such lovely people. All of them are parents, some grandparents, and yet they all give me the same advice - don't listen to any advice!
Matthew and I have started a list of names and we even bought a little baby outfit yesterday! Cluck cluck cluck! I vacilate between extreme happiness and extreme saddness. I am either anxious or relaxed. I can't seem to settle on a happy medium, so today I've rewarded myself with a day off to chill out. Bloody hormones.
A big BIG thank you to all the excited well-wishers who left me happy and encouraging messages. I'm not sure about projectile lactation and I'm not sure I really want to know... but thanks again!
A cyber hug to my Uncle Brad who I know is thinking of me. I've been thinking of him too and imagining his bitchy reply to my local shop owner who asked me outright if I was preganant because "You look like you've put on a lot of weight!"
More again soon. Assume no news is good news.
Monday, February 11, 2008
12 Weeks
Taaaa Dum!
I did it! 12 weeks and an ultrasound today. A little babe floating and waving and wriggling inside me. No wonder I'm tired!
I feel truly special.
ps Sorry Uncle Brad I just... kinda got busy. I wanted to post but also wanted to wait. I won't leave it so long next time. Thank you for just being you.
I did it! 12 weeks and an ultrasound today. A little babe floating and waving and wriggling inside me. No wonder I'm tired!
I feel truly special.
ps Sorry Uncle Brad I just... kinda got busy. I wanted to post but also wanted to wait. I won't leave it so long next time. Thank you for just being you.
Friday, February 1, 2008
11 Weeks
Ok here's how I feel at 11 weeks pregnant.
*Boobs aren't that sore any more, just at random times.
*Feel a bit sick in the mornings and occasionally have a gagging fit which includes terrible retching noises but fortunately, no vomit.
*I can smell anything. Something in the pantry smells odd, but I can't track it down. Other times, I open the cupboard and it smells fine.
*Not really fussed about any food (and I'm usually a foodie).
*Lazy - but that's pretty close to my normal behaviour/feeling.
*Nervous, particularly when going to the toilet.
*I now have veins on my boobs and hips that are kind of fascinating but also a bit horrifying.
*I can become ferocious, like VERY BAD PMS. Also weepy and I don't like reading or hearing anything sad - especially related to babies, motherhood, pregnancy etc etc etc. Super sensitive.
*Frustrated. I'd like to be able to have another ultrasound and check eevrything's ok and I'd like to tell everyone, but I also want to wait until I'm at 12 weeks. My next Drs Apptmt is on the 11th of Feb. We'll tell husband's parents, his sister, my sisters & friends after the 16th.
*I have the most vivid and whacked out dreams. I've had lots of sexual dreams, like a threesome and sex with an old man who was a truckie (? I know???). I dream about confronting people I dislike and all kinds of other weird stuff. It's like I'm on a trip every night.
*A tiny part of me is bursting with hope. I can see myself holding a little one and feeling blissfully happy. I can imagine a child running up to my husband and saying "Daddy!" I have a vision of a child growing up to become someone worthwhile and a sense within myself that I created that wonderful person.
*Boobs aren't that sore any more, just at random times.
*Feel a bit sick in the mornings and occasionally have a gagging fit which includes terrible retching noises but fortunately, no vomit.
*I can smell anything. Something in the pantry smells odd, but I can't track it down. Other times, I open the cupboard and it smells fine.
*Not really fussed about any food (and I'm usually a foodie).
*Lazy - but that's pretty close to my normal behaviour/feeling.
*Nervous, particularly when going to the toilet.
*I now have veins on my boobs and hips that are kind of fascinating but also a bit horrifying.
*I can become ferocious, like VERY BAD PMS. Also weepy and I don't like reading or hearing anything sad - especially related to babies, motherhood, pregnancy etc etc etc. Super sensitive.
*Frustrated. I'd like to be able to have another ultrasound and check eevrything's ok and I'd like to tell everyone, but I also want to wait until I'm at 12 weeks. My next Drs Apptmt is on the 11th of Feb. We'll tell husband's parents, his sister, my sisters & friends after the 16th.
*I have the most vivid and whacked out dreams. I've had lots of sexual dreams, like a threesome and sex with an old man who was a truckie (? I know???). I dream about confronting people I dislike and all kinds of other weird stuff. It's like I'm on a trip every night.
*A tiny part of me is bursting with hope. I can see myself holding a little one and feeling blissfully happy. I can imagine a child running up to my husband and saying "Daddy!" I have a vision of a child growing up to become someone worthwhile and a sense within myself that I created that wonderful person.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Surviving
I've survived my first week (abbreviated though it was) back at school. My new class of Kinder kids are funny and gorgeous!
Today and yesterday I've felt good, but I'm getting a little "toilet anxiety". Not sure if 'things' are looking the right colour.
Tomorrow will be week 11. So close and yet so far.
Today and yesterday I've felt good, but I'm getting a little "toilet anxiety". Not sure if 'things' are looking the right colour.
Tomorrow will be week 11. So close and yet so far.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Anxious
Woke up feeling anxious and worried. No real reason. Husband's better, dog's OK. I'm back to work today - I teach kindergarten and started off a brand new class. Maybe that was it? I couldn't help myself - off to the toilet all the time, checking, checking. My little mantra hardly calmed me.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.
Friday, January 25, 2008
10 Weeks - The dog, the husband and me.
According to my Doctor's calculations, I am 10 weeks pregnant today. Only two more weeks until the supposed "safer zone". I know that whilst pregnancy (and rearing a child for that matter) is a minefield of potential complications, I will feel a lot better once I've made it to 12 weeks. After 12 weeks, we're going to tell our family and friends. That's the worst part, keeping it to yourself when you occasionally just feel like getting really excited and talking about nursery furniture or knitting a blanket or names you like!
My pregnancy is the least of the worries today. Our first child, Shirley the Golden Retriever, had a second knee surgery yesterday. She's all shaved again on her right hind leg and looks like she's wearing one ugh boot! When she's not sleeping, she's lick, lick, licking her stitches which kind of sounds like slow sand paper scraping and is pretty unpleasant, but we love her and so we tolerate it. I hate seeing her all groggy and un-co-ordinated. Her eyes look really mournful, but the tail still works and thumps along whenever I'm near. I was a lot better taking her in for surgery this time and I didn't cry or anything. I hope that now she has the meniscus (or however it's spelt) removed that she will be able to feel more comfortable and be more mobile. I hope we've put years ON her life, since she's only seven.
My husband's also sick. He's got a fever and cold sweats, but still soldiered on to work today as he's doing a "mates-rates" job for a friend (a good friend too since it's the Australia Day long weekend here). He got part way through having a shave and had to come back to bed for a lay down. He works as a cabinet making, building kitchens etc and I worry about him using machinery and power tools when he's not feeling 100% but he can't be told, so I just gave him a kiss and watched him shiver his way into the glorious 25 degree Celsius morning!
Between the dog licking and smelling of the hospital, husband shivering and sweating and trembling and me, gagging with morning sickness over the kitchen sink, we would have made a funny little picture this morning!
Ohhh - I feel a song coming on... every little thing, is gonna be alright. (It's become my mantra and I even sing it out loud!!)
My pregnancy is the least of the worries today. Our first child, Shirley the Golden Retriever, had a second knee surgery yesterday. She's all shaved again on her right hind leg and looks like she's wearing one ugh boot! When she's not sleeping, she's lick, lick, licking her stitches which kind of sounds like slow sand paper scraping and is pretty unpleasant, but we love her and so we tolerate it. I hate seeing her all groggy and un-co-ordinated. Her eyes look really mournful, but the tail still works and thumps along whenever I'm near. I was a lot better taking her in for surgery this time and I didn't cry or anything. I hope that now she has the meniscus (or however it's spelt) removed that she will be able to feel more comfortable and be more mobile. I hope we've put years ON her life, since she's only seven.
My husband's also sick. He's got a fever and cold sweats, but still soldiered on to work today as he's doing a "mates-rates" job for a friend (a good friend too since it's the Australia Day long weekend here). He got part way through having a shave and had to come back to bed for a lay down. He works as a cabinet making, building kitchens etc and I worry about him using machinery and power tools when he's not feeling 100% but he can't be told, so I just gave him a kiss and watched him shiver his way into the glorious 25 degree Celsius morning!
Between the dog licking and smelling of the hospital, husband shivering and sweating and trembling and me, gagging with morning sickness over the kitchen sink, we would have made a funny little picture this morning!
Ohhh - I feel a song coming on... every little thing, is gonna be alright. (It's become my mantra and I even sing it out loud!!)
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