Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
It's a...
Introducing Olivia Faith...
Born on Friday 22nd August 2008 at 3:40pm after a short but intense 3 hour labour. No drugs for Mum or Dad!!
She is beautiful and I love her despite the fact that she tried to kill me (who says you forget the pain of labour?).
Thank you Brad and Bon. You have both been part of a miracle.
Born on Friday 22nd August 2008 at 3:40pm after a short but intense 3 hour labour. No drugs for Mum or Dad!!
She is beautiful and I love her despite the fact that she tried to kill me (who says you forget the pain of labour?).
Thank you Brad and Bon. You have both been part of a miracle.
Monday, August 18, 2008
One Week To Go!
I cannot believe that it’s been over one month since I last wrote. So much has happened in that space of time.
The most exciting thing that happened was at then end of June when Scribe Publications made an offer on my novel Measuring Up. I have been pursuing publishers for several years and was finally rewarded. I have wanted to be an author for my entire life and now I can say I really am. I have a contract signed and have an advance cheque just waiting to be banked! I know that having a child changes your life and is a most amazing experience, but I can honestly say that I am so proud of myself and this achievement with my writing. Writing is incredibly important to me and to be paid for doing something you love and to have people say they enjoy what you write... well. I’m not sure I can describe that. With our first child on the way and a publishing deal on the table, it feels as though new and different doors of future possibilities are opening for me.
Mum had her operation on her arm and is recovering well, all this time after the initial fall in Bali. She has plates and bars and wire and bolts holding all the bits together and the surgery was quite major and extensive. She is staying with us now as she recuperates, which is nice for me to keep me company in my last weeks.
Unfortunately, we’ve also had some of the worst news of our lives. On Wednesday 13th August, Matt’s Mum, Irene, was rushed to Canberra hospital with a burst aneurism in her brain. As I write, she is in a stable condition in Woden Hospital ICU. She has had major brain surgery to drain the aneurism that burst and also to clamp the second aneurism they found that had not burst. For the next 21 days, it is touch and go as they watch and hope for signs of progress and improvement. Matthew has been there since Thursday morning, came home yesterday (Sunday) and will return tomorrow. I have stayed here feeling helpless. I have needed to be with Mum and also close to the hospital. Plus, I think people would start to worry about me if I was away with Matthew the whole time. I know Irene would want me here, relaxing and resting as much as I can.
I’m really feeling for Matty. This is potentially the best and worst time in his life and trying to experience both simultaneously makes the good thing bittersweet and the bad thing almost unbearable. He has been a real hero throughout this time for his family and it seems he has taken the lead and initiative where organisation and decision making has been required. I am so proud of him, the man he has become and the father he will be.
And as for my pregnancy health, I’m 20kgs heavier than I was; now at 84kgs. And I must say, a little disappointed. I didn’t want to go past 80kgs. On the 2nd of August at 37weeks, I had a little rise in blood pressure and felt very out of sorts. I spent the day in hospital being monitored. They did a scan of the baby’s heart and even graphed some Braxton Hicks contractions I was apparently having (couldn’t feel them myself!). In the end I was able to go home, although they were concerned about the “starry vision” and the general puffiness of my face, feet and hands. I have felt ok since then and am more ware of when I need to rest.
People say I look great and I’m “all baby”, but my feet look like they’re pregnant as well! I have little to no feeling in my big toes and a general feeling of poor circulation throughout my legs. Matthew is reluctant and stingy when asked to massage them and I’m noting that here so I can be mean when he next has an injury!!
I wanted to write a little bit about how it feels to have the baby moving inside me. It used to feel like definite kicks and punches. And early on I could feel rolling around. The first roll I ever felt, I thought it was going to come out of my belly button. But after about 26 weeks or so, it dropped into the head down position, although at my last visit to Dr. Simonson, he said I still wasn’t “fully engaged” and that was at 39 weeks. Now, I feel lots of rubbing, mostly what I suspect is a little foot on my left hand side. Sometimes I feel like a little click where a joint or something must move. Every day for the past ten weeks or so, baby has the hiccups – usually just after I’ve eaten. The hiccups feel funny, mostly low down, but definitely easy for other people to feel if they put their hand on me. Some nights my entire stomach looks like soup on the boil as little body parts grind, push, wriggle and shift inside me. And I must admit, I find it so comforting. I love feeling it move and watching it move. I know I will miss this when it comes out.
The nursery is all finished and it looks beautiful. It is filled already with gifts from people, mostly families of students at school. I still can’t really imagine a baby being in there though. My baby!
Leaving school was difficult but not too sad. It was good because the Term Two holidays had arrived and everyone was looking forward to the break. The teachers spoilt me with a fun “good luck” assembly. The kids cheered as I raced another teacher to feed a doll a bottle and change a nappy. I also had to assemble a port-a-cot and a pram! I had the sweetest “baby shower” (or as one student called it “baby bath”) with the parents and students from my class. Then, a few weeks into my leave, we met with the staff for a dinner out and our other “baby shower”. The staff paid for a gorgeous baby rocker (which we had chosen). They are beautiful people and I miss working there and having their company and the company of kids each day.
I have packed a labour bag and a hospital bag. It really feels like everything is ready. Of everyone in the antenatal class that we have become friends with, I am the last “egg” remaining to “crack”. I am a little terrified, especially since Matty is preoccupied with his Mum (and rightly so, but I just get more of a feeling that I’m on my own for this one). But I’m also really excited. I can’t wait to love this child and do my best as a Mum and turn our little world as a family-couple into a family-with-children.
I am thoroughly convinced that it’s a boy. I’m almost certain that at that 20 week scan I saw a penis under that enormous umbilical cord. I refer to the baby as “Joshie” short for Joshua which is what we’ll name him if it’s a boy. We haven’t told everyone our preferred names yet, but the top two are Joshua and Olivia.
Well – that’s enough of an update. I’ve felt quite different today, my tummy is hard as a rock and I’ve had a few twingey pains. I don’t think it’s arriving immediately, but I think we’re getting close.
I pray for blessings on my family. Especially good health for Irene and a healthy baby for Matthew and me.
The most exciting thing that happened was at then end of June when Scribe Publications made an offer on my novel Measuring Up. I have been pursuing publishers for several years and was finally rewarded. I have wanted to be an author for my entire life and now I can say I really am. I have a contract signed and have an advance cheque just waiting to be banked! I know that having a child changes your life and is a most amazing experience, but I can honestly say that I am so proud of myself and this achievement with my writing. Writing is incredibly important to me and to be paid for doing something you love and to have people say they enjoy what you write... well. I’m not sure I can describe that. With our first child on the way and a publishing deal on the table, it feels as though new and different doors of future possibilities are opening for me.
Mum had her operation on her arm and is recovering well, all this time after the initial fall in Bali. She has plates and bars and wire and bolts holding all the bits together and the surgery was quite major and extensive. She is staying with us now as she recuperates, which is nice for me to keep me company in my last weeks.
Unfortunately, we’ve also had some of the worst news of our lives. On Wednesday 13th August, Matt’s Mum, Irene, was rushed to Canberra hospital with a burst aneurism in her brain. As I write, she is in a stable condition in Woden Hospital ICU. She has had major brain surgery to drain the aneurism that burst and also to clamp the second aneurism they found that had not burst. For the next 21 days, it is touch and go as they watch and hope for signs of progress and improvement. Matthew has been there since Thursday morning, came home yesterday (Sunday) and will return tomorrow. I have stayed here feeling helpless. I have needed to be with Mum and also close to the hospital. Plus, I think people would start to worry about me if I was away with Matthew the whole time. I know Irene would want me here, relaxing and resting as much as I can.
I’m really feeling for Matty. This is potentially the best and worst time in his life and trying to experience both simultaneously makes the good thing bittersweet and the bad thing almost unbearable. He has been a real hero throughout this time for his family and it seems he has taken the lead and initiative where organisation and decision making has been required. I am so proud of him, the man he has become and the father he will be.
And as for my pregnancy health, I’m 20kgs heavier than I was; now at 84kgs. And I must say, a little disappointed. I didn’t want to go past 80kgs. On the 2nd of August at 37weeks, I had a little rise in blood pressure and felt very out of sorts. I spent the day in hospital being monitored. They did a scan of the baby’s heart and even graphed some Braxton Hicks contractions I was apparently having (couldn’t feel them myself!). In the end I was able to go home, although they were concerned about the “starry vision” and the general puffiness of my face, feet and hands. I have felt ok since then and am more ware of when I need to rest.
People say I look great and I’m “all baby”, but my feet look like they’re pregnant as well! I have little to no feeling in my big toes and a general feeling of poor circulation throughout my legs. Matthew is reluctant and stingy when asked to massage them and I’m noting that here so I can be mean when he next has an injury!!
I wanted to write a little bit about how it feels to have the baby moving inside me. It used to feel like definite kicks and punches. And early on I could feel rolling around. The first roll I ever felt, I thought it was going to come out of my belly button. But after about 26 weeks or so, it dropped into the head down position, although at my last visit to Dr. Simonson, he said I still wasn’t “fully engaged” and that was at 39 weeks. Now, I feel lots of rubbing, mostly what I suspect is a little foot on my left hand side. Sometimes I feel like a little click where a joint or something must move. Every day for the past ten weeks or so, baby has the hiccups – usually just after I’ve eaten. The hiccups feel funny, mostly low down, but definitely easy for other people to feel if they put their hand on me. Some nights my entire stomach looks like soup on the boil as little body parts grind, push, wriggle and shift inside me. And I must admit, I find it so comforting. I love feeling it move and watching it move. I know I will miss this when it comes out.
The nursery is all finished and it looks beautiful. It is filled already with gifts from people, mostly families of students at school. I still can’t really imagine a baby being in there though. My baby!
Leaving school was difficult but not too sad. It was good because the Term Two holidays had arrived and everyone was looking forward to the break. The teachers spoilt me with a fun “good luck” assembly. The kids cheered as I raced another teacher to feed a doll a bottle and change a nappy. I also had to assemble a port-a-cot and a pram! I had the sweetest “baby shower” (or as one student called it “baby bath”) with the parents and students from my class. Then, a few weeks into my leave, we met with the staff for a dinner out and our other “baby shower”. The staff paid for a gorgeous baby rocker (which we had chosen). They are beautiful people and I miss working there and having their company and the company of kids each day.
I have packed a labour bag and a hospital bag. It really feels like everything is ready. Of everyone in the antenatal class that we have become friends with, I am the last “egg” remaining to “crack”. I am a little terrified, especially since Matty is preoccupied with his Mum (and rightly so, but I just get more of a feeling that I’m on my own for this one). But I’m also really excited. I can’t wait to love this child and do my best as a Mum and turn our little world as a family-couple into a family-with-children.
I am thoroughly convinced that it’s a boy. I’m almost certain that at that 20 week scan I saw a penis under that enormous umbilical cord. I refer to the baby as “Joshie” short for Joshua which is what we’ll name him if it’s a boy. We haven’t told everyone our preferred names yet, but the top two are Joshua and Olivia.
Well – that’s enough of an update. I’ve felt quite different today, my tummy is hard as a rock and I’ve had a few twingey pains. I don’t think it’s arriving immediately, but I think we’re getting close.
I pray for blessings on my family. Especially good health for Irene and a healthy baby for Matthew and me.
Monday, June 9, 2008
29 weeks, 11 to go!
Yes - just eleven weeks until d-day. I can't believe it.
Alright... it's probably time for an epic update.
The ultrasound I had a few weeks ago did not reveal any reason for the pain under my ribs. The lady doing the test had a hard time finding all my vital organs and said that they were quite displaced and squashed. At one stage I had to stand up with an arm over my head and at other times she scanned my back! We looked at the baby and saw it kick me. At that point I suddenly thought "It's a boy!" as I could see a penis. Then I thought that penis is ENORMOUS and I realised I was looking at the umbilical cord!
Anyway I then had a week off work with a bad flu and tiredness like I've never really experienced before! The pain was still bad after a week off and some naturopathic trigger point therapy. When I went back to work I still had the pain and a friend suggested I look into some essential oils, but she warned me to be careful as you shouldn't use certain oils during pregnancy. I didn't realise this and thought suddenly of the Body Shop oil I had been rubbing regularly onto my tummy each night as a little massage. I checked my books and a few websites but that particular oil Tahitian monoi oil was not listed as being harmful. BUT the websites did say that some oils can put strain on your liver and that's where the doctor said my pain was coming from. So... I've since stopped using the oil and although the pain is still there, it hasn't been as bad as it was.
The ante-natal classes have been great fun. There's a great group of couples there and we always have a lot of laughs, even though the presenters aren't very dynamic or entertaining. It's particularly good for the blokes I rekon and Matthew and I have had some good discussions about LAB (Life After Baby) stemming from things brought up at the classes. So far we have covered breastfeeding, bringing the baby home and caring for yourself during pregnancy.
I'm also enjoying the prenatal exercise class I've joined at the local gym. I esepcially like the coffee and cake we have afterwards and of course, gossiping with the other expectant mothers. It's a very social time in my life and I'm enjoying meeting these new people.
This is the June Long Weekend and on Saturday we spent some time preparing the nursery. We took out the queen size guest bed and put in the change table. It was a lot of fun going through all the things we've been given. Last week we got a pram (Matt's folks bought it for us) and we're still learning how to fold it up and attach all the bits.
Overall I'm feeling pretty good. There's four weeks of school left and I've done the Portfolios and the reports. I'm trying hard not to eat the house down. I'm about 74kgs now. 10 more than I was before I fell pregnant. We see the doctor again on Friday.
Alright... it's probably time for an epic update.
The ultrasound I had a few weeks ago did not reveal any reason for the pain under my ribs. The lady doing the test had a hard time finding all my vital organs and said that they were quite displaced and squashed. At one stage I had to stand up with an arm over my head and at other times she scanned my back! We looked at the baby and saw it kick me. At that point I suddenly thought "It's a boy!" as I could see a penis. Then I thought that penis is ENORMOUS and I realised I was looking at the umbilical cord!
Anyway I then had a week off work with a bad flu and tiredness like I've never really experienced before! The pain was still bad after a week off and some naturopathic trigger point therapy. When I went back to work I still had the pain and a friend suggested I look into some essential oils, but she warned me to be careful as you shouldn't use certain oils during pregnancy. I didn't realise this and thought suddenly of the Body Shop oil I had been rubbing regularly onto my tummy each night as a little massage. I checked my books and a few websites but that particular oil Tahitian monoi oil was not listed as being harmful. BUT the websites did say that some oils can put strain on your liver and that's where the doctor said my pain was coming from. So... I've since stopped using the oil and although the pain is still there, it hasn't been as bad as it was.
The ante-natal classes have been great fun. There's a great group of couples there and we always have a lot of laughs, even though the presenters aren't very dynamic or entertaining. It's particularly good for the blokes I rekon and Matthew and I have had some good discussions about LAB (Life After Baby) stemming from things brought up at the classes. So far we have covered breastfeeding, bringing the baby home and caring for yourself during pregnancy.
I'm also enjoying the prenatal exercise class I've joined at the local gym. I esepcially like the coffee and cake we have afterwards and of course, gossiping with the other expectant mothers. It's a very social time in my life and I'm enjoying meeting these new people.
This is the June Long Weekend and on Saturday we spent some time preparing the nursery. We took out the queen size guest bed and put in the change table. It was a lot of fun going through all the things we've been given. Last week we got a pram (Matt's folks bought it for us) and we're still learning how to fold it up and attach all the bits.
Overall I'm feeling pretty good. There's four weeks of school left and I've done the Portfolios and the reports. I'm trying hard not to eat the house down. I'm about 74kgs now. 10 more than I was before I fell pregnant. We see the doctor again on Friday.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Pregnancy - A Poem
Pregnancy
You are my little whale
Breaching beneath my skin
A tiny tremor
Slowly shifting tectonic plates
Your sign language
Leaves fingerprints inside me.
22/4/08
You are my little whale
Breaching beneath my skin
A tiny tremor
Slowly shifting tectonic plates
Your sign language
Leaves fingerprints inside me.
22/4/08
27 Weeks, 13 to go!
This week I'm attaching a copy of my fortnightly column that goes in the local paper.
What Would I Know?
An Interview
Okay, it’s time to come clean. Each fortnight my column introduces me as a “child education correspondent”. Well, the truth is, that’s about all I know – education. I’m about to have my first child and despite a four year university degree and nearly ten years of teaching experience, I can safely say I know nothing!
Fortunately though, I do know Gaye; mother of eight, grandmother to 1 and another grandchild on the way! Gaye is also a Teacher-Librarian and no doubt an old sage when it comes to raising children.
This week, Gaye has asked me a few tricky questions, just to see how prepared I am for motherhood!
1. What are some of the most fantastic old wives’ tales you have heard regarding pregnancy and childbirth?
It’s not the old wives’ tales that I find fantastic, but all the “new” stuff. These days you can have an elective Caesar, there’s gender pre-selection and heaps of antenatal tests available. Much of that stuff actually scares me, I think I prefer the old wives’ tales about long drives on bumpy roads and heartburn causing hair growth!
2. The first time you hold your baby and it wraps its little hand around your finger, what emotions might be invoked in you?
I think I might feel terrified, but also consumed with love.
3. Most mums feel that it is important to tick off the milestones in their child’s life. What are the milestones you are looking forward to in your baby’s first year?
To be honest, I don’t really know what a baby does in it’s first year. I guess it might grow teeth, crawl, eat food, walk and talk. I think they still need nappies by the time they’re one.
4. There is an old expression “to sleep like a baby”. What are your expectations about a baby’s sleeping patterns?
Okay – I know this is a trick question because what I expect and what I’ll get are two different things. I’d like my baby to sleep fairly regularly so that both of us (and hubby) can remain sane and healthy. Everyone says babies are noisy sleepers, I can’t understand this. What do they do that’s so noisy?
5. What would you consider is more important for a child – spontaneity or organisation?
Well Gaye, you’ve met my husband Matthew so you know that organisation comes first! But together, he and I are a good balance of spontaneity and organised routine so hopefully our child will get a good dose of both.
6. How can you make immunisation time as painless as possible for both mother and child?
Send the Dad.
7. What is the most amazing item you have seen which can be purchased for babies?
Well, first of all let me tell you about the electric breast pumps that are out there! They remind me of some of the machinery I’ve seen on local dairy farms! The most amazing baby product I’ve seen is a bouncer called a “swing”. It moves in five different ways, has a canopy, twinkling light shows, an MP3 jack and baby songs programmed in. I would actually like one for myself.
8. I am now going to mention three childbirth terms and I want you to tell me what they mean to you: Branxton-Hicks contractions; Pelvic floor exercises; and an epidural.
Branxton Hicks contractions are like Mother Nature’s version of a fire drill. They are pretend contractions designed to scare you half to death and remind you that the little sucker inside you has got to come out some time soon. I hope they are painless.
Pelvic Floor Exercises are the things I should be doing regularly throughout my pregnancy. Otherwise all the things in my pelvis could end up on the floor.
Epidural sounds bad, like the brand name for a power drill. Is an epidural when they suck the baby out? I don’t really know and I don’t think I want to know.
9. Finally, if I were a fairy godmother and could grant you three wishes for your child what would you wish for?
I thought you were a fairy godmother Gaye! You have to be close to something mystic to survive eight pregnancies and labours! Okay, three wishes...
1. Good health
2. A loving father
3. A loving mother
What more could they need?
What Would I Know?
An Interview
Okay, it’s time to come clean. Each fortnight my column introduces me as a “child education correspondent”. Well, the truth is, that’s about all I know – education. I’m about to have my first child and despite a four year university degree and nearly ten years of teaching experience, I can safely say I know nothing!
Fortunately though, I do know Gaye; mother of eight, grandmother to 1 and another grandchild on the way! Gaye is also a Teacher-Librarian and no doubt an old sage when it comes to raising children.
This week, Gaye has asked me a few tricky questions, just to see how prepared I am for motherhood!
1. What are some of the most fantastic old wives’ tales you have heard regarding pregnancy and childbirth?
It’s not the old wives’ tales that I find fantastic, but all the “new” stuff. These days you can have an elective Caesar, there’s gender pre-selection and heaps of antenatal tests available. Much of that stuff actually scares me, I think I prefer the old wives’ tales about long drives on bumpy roads and heartburn causing hair growth!
2. The first time you hold your baby and it wraps its little hand around your finger, what emotions might be invoked in you?
I think I might feel terrified, but also consumed with love.
3. Most mums feel that it is important to tick off the milestones in their child’s life. What are the milestones you are looking forward to in your baby’s first year?
To be honest, I don’t really know what a baby does in it’s first year. I guess it might grow teeth, crawl, eat food, walk and talk. I think they still need nappies by the time they’re one.
4. There is an old expression “to sleep like a baby”. What are your expectations about a baby’s sleeping patterns?
Okay – I know this is a trick question because what I expect and what I’ll get are two different things. I’d like my baby to sleep fairly regularly so that both of us (and hubby) can remain sane and healthy. Everyone says babies are noisy sleepers, I can’t understand this. What do they do that’s so noisy?
5. What would you consider is more important for a child – spontaneity or organisation?
Well Gaye, you’ve met my husband Matthew so you know that organisation comes first! But together, he and I are a good balance of spontaneity and organised routine so hopefully our child will get a good dose of both.
6. How can you make immunisation time as painless as possible for both mother and child?
Send the Dad.
7. What is the most amazing item you have seen which can be purchased for babies?
Well, first of all let me tell you about the electric breast pumps that are out there! They remind me of some of the machinery I’ve seen on local dairy farms! The most amazing baby product I’ve seen is a bouncer called a “swing”. It moves in five different ways, has a canopy, twinkling light shows, an MP3 jack and baby songs programmed in. I would actually like one for myself.
8. I am now going to mention three childbirth terms and I want you to tell me what they mean to you: Branxton-Hicks contractions; Pelvic floor exercises; and an epidural.
Branxton Hicks contractions are like Mother Nature’s version of a fire drill. They are pretend contractions designed to scare you half to death and remind you that the little sucker inside you has got to come out some time soon. I hope they are painless.
Pelvic Floor Exercises are the things I should be doing regularly throughout my pregnancy. Otherwise all the things in my pelvis could end up on the floor.
Epidural sounds bad, like the brand name for a power drill. Is an epidural when they suck the baby out? I don’t really know and I don’t think I want to know.
9. Finally, if I were a fairy godmother and could grant you three wishes for your child what would you wish for?
I thought you were a fairy godmother Gaye! You have to be close to something mystic to survive eight pregnancies and labours! Okay, three wishes...
1. Good health
2. A loving father
3. A loving mother
What more could they need?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
26 Weeks or 14 to go!
Just a quick update as I'm not feeling well today (sore throat).
* Ultra sound tomorrow to try and determine this pain under my ribs and before you ask, no it's not the baby's foot!
* Ante natal classes begin Tuesday night
* Doctor's appointment last week was okay (except for this rib pain), now have to start going fortnightly
* I'm teary and tired all the time
* Baby moving lots and lots and making me smile unexpectedly, I can even feel an occasional "rub" as a foot or elbow glides along my uterus
* My aunty Ivy (aged 87) passed away during the week. She was not well and it was not unexpected but sad all the same
* I've started prenatal gym classes which I'm really enjoying
* We have a "new car" - a Honda CRV and I think Matty's going to wash the paint right off it!
That'll do for now.
* Ultra sound tomorrow to try and determine this pain under my ribs and before you ask, no it's not the baby's foot!
* Ante natal classes begin Tuesday night
* Doctor's appointment last week was okay (except for this rib pain), now have to start going fortnightly
* I'm teary and tired all the time
* Baby moving lots and lots and making me smile unexpectedly, I can even feel an occasional "rub" as a foot or elbow glides along my uterus
* My aunty Ivy (aged 87) passed away during the week. She was not well and it was not unexpected but sad all the same
* I've started prenatal gym classes which I'm really enjoying
* We have a "new car" - a Honda CRV and I think Matty's going to wash the paint right off it!
That'll do for now.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
24 Weeks
Okay - time for another epic update...
I set off for Katoomba in the Blue Mountains where I had won a place at Varuna The Writer's House. The car was loaded with books, computer, printer, manuscripts, anxiety and me. I left a beautiful sunny autumn day to arrive in overcast, sleety weather and I was instantly homesick. I don't often suffer from that, but having to leave Matthew and my dog Shirl, combined with knowing my folks were in Bali (with my sisters) plus leaving Mum's little dog Peggy in Matthew's care was all a bit much. Plus, I felt like a bit of a fraud going to this highly sought after writing retreat that 370 others had applied for.
I cried and cried and wandered the streets in the rain. My hormones must have been going berserk, because that sort of behaviour is really uncharacteristic of me. My muscles were aching after the long drive (7 hours) so I decided to book in for a massage (I haven't had one since I was pregnant). And it turned out to be just what I needed. The masseuse was a true healer and something about her touch restored my equilibrium. I was able to enjoy my week and have many productive writing days.
The director at Varuna, Peter, praised my work and commended the progress I had made since my last visit there in 2005. The other writers were young and all in worlds far from pregnancy and children. It was great to be talking about "other things", especially my favourite things like books, authors, movies, stories, characters and the experience of being a writer.
I drove home the following Sunday singing along to my Josh Pyke CD at the top of my lungs, giving the occasional "woo hoo" out the window and thinking about ways I can carry this fabulous feeling back to my "real life".
Then it happened....
Traffic slowed, I was caught in a traffic jam, rain began to fall, my mobile phone rang... I answered (naughty, I know, but we were virtually stationary) to hear my poor husband Matthew on the other end saying; "I just got back from Surf Patrol and Peggy's missing. I can't find her anywhere." (Peggy is Mum and Dad's beloved dog - a tiny little thing aged 14) Matty swore a lot and then I felt the lovely Blue Mountain feeling lift away and the other crap feeling sink back in. How does that work?
Anyway, he called me every thirty minutes as traffic crawled along, eventually finding her in the reserve behind our street. Finally, I made it to Canberra where I had to stay for the night (as I had a course for school there the following day). I felt as though I'd run a marathon.
Just as I was relaxing in the motel, Matt rings again to tell me that Mum just called. She was home from Bali with some bad news. She'd had a fall while over there and broken her arm. She went for four days without medical treatment because she "didn't think the Bali doctors would be quality". She went to the local hospital in Cooma when she got home and - this is so sad - her fingers were so swollen that they had to cut off her wedding ring, which she hadn't taken off in 50 years. She has a compound fracture in her left wrist and will be in a cast for at least another 6 weeks. It worries me, as she is 71 and doesn't yet realise that she is actually growing old.
So - I spent the night feeling miserable, worrying about Mum. Even a good dose of pizza and TV (hadn't seen any TV for the week at Varuna) didn't help.
The next day it was off to a conference entitled Catholic Schools At A Crossroad featuring nuns and bishops as guest speakers. Yes - it was every bit as boring as it sounded. It finished late and there was still a 3 hour drive ahead of me. I arrived home at 7pm, wishing that the next day wasn't the first day of Term 2.
The next morning I woke up, sneezed and wet myself. It was at this moment that I abandoned all sense of courage. I sat on the bottom step and cried.
I did make it to work. I did survive the week. I do feel a lot better. So it all has a happy ending really!
The baby is moving a lot and my boobs and bum are also moving of their own accord - enlarging at a rate somewhat proportionate to my stomach. I no longer feel a constant sense of worry and panic about the baby. Every time we go shopping, Matthew insists we buy some nappies. I am considering busting a packet open, ready for the next time I sneeze.
Other updates: We are buying a "new" (2nd hand 2005 model) Honda CRV next weekend
Matthew sold his beat up old ute
Matthew's sister had her 2nd child last week, a baby boy named James
I went home and saw Mum on the weekend and she is going to be ok
School has been like a gentle haven from all the other stuff going on
This has been the first thing I've written since my week at Varuna. And I call myself a writer. Huh.
Big love to Brad and Bonnie who are probably the only two souls who will ever read this. Thank you for your thoughts.
I set off for Katoomba in the Blue Mountains where I had won a place at Varuna The Writer's House. The car was loaded with books, computer, printer, manuscripts, anxiety and me. I left a beautiful sunny autumn day to arrive in overcast, sleety weather and I was instantly homesick. I don't often suffer from that, but having to leave Matthew and my dog Shirl, combined with knowing my folks were in Bali (with my sisters) plus leaving Mum's little dog Peggy in Matthew's care was all a bit much. Plus, I felt like a bit of a fraud going to this highly sought after writing retreat that 370 others had applied for.
I cried and cried and wandered the streets in the rain. My hormones must have been going berserk, because that sort of behaviour is really uncharacteristic of me. My muscles were aching after the long drive (7 hours) so I decided to book in for a massage (I haven't had one since I was pregnant). And it turned out to be just what I needed. The masseuse was a true healer and something about her touch restored my equilibrium. I was able to enjoy my week and have many productive writing days.
The director at Varuna, Peter, praised my work and commended the progress I had made since my last visit there in 2005. The other writers were young and all in worlds far from pregnancy and children. It was great to be talking about "other things", especially my favourite things like books, authors, movies, stories, characters and the experience of being a writer.
I drove home the following Sunday singing along to my Josh Pyke CD at the top of my lungs, giving the occasional "woo hoo" out the window and thinking about ways I can carry this fabulous feeling back to my "real life".
Then it happened....
Traffic slowed, I was caught in a traffic jam, rain began to fall, my mobile phone rang... I answered (naughty, I know, but we were virtually stationary) to hear my poor husband Matthew on the other end saying; "I just got back from Surf Patrol and Peggy's missing. I can't find her anywhere." (Peggy is Mum and Dad's beloved dog - a tiny little thing aged 14) Matty swore a lot and then I felt the lovely Blue Mountain feeling lift away and the other crap feeling sink back in. How does that work?
Anyway, he called me every thirty minutes as traffic crawled along, eventually finding her in the reserve behind our street. Finally, I made it to Canberra where I had to stay for the night (as I had a course for school there the following day). I felt as though I'd run a marathon.
Just as I was relaxing in the motel, Matt rings again to tell me that Mum just called. She was home from Bali with some bad news. She'd had a fall while over there and broken her arm. She went for four days without medical treatment because she "didn't think the Bali doctors would be quality". She went to the local hospital in Cooma when she got home and - this is so sad - her fingers were so swollen that they had to cut off her wedding ring, which she hadn't taken off in 50 years. She has a compound fracture in her left wrist and will be in a cast for at least another 6 weeks. It worries me, as she is 71 and doesn't yet realise that she is actually growing old.
So - I spent the night feeling miserable, worrying about Mum. Even a good dose of pizza and TV (hadn't seen any TV for the week at Varuna) didn't help.
The next day it was off to a conference entitled Catholic Schools At A Crossroad featuring nuns and bishops as guest speakers. Yes - it was every bit as boring as it sounded. It finished late and there was still a 3 hour drive ahead of me. I arrived home at 7pm, wishing that the next day wasn't the first day of Term 2.
The next morning I woke up, sneezed and wet myself. It was at this moment that I abandoned all sense of courage. I sat on the bottom step and cried.
I did make it to work. I did survive the week. I do feel a lot better. So it all has a happy ending really!
The baby is moving a lot and my boobs and bum are also moving of their own accord - enlarging at a rate somewhat proportionate to my stomach. I no longer feel a constant sense of worry and panic about the baby. Every time we go shopping, Matthew insists we buy some nappies. I am considering busting a packet open, ready for the next time I sneeze.
Other updates: We are buying a "new" (2nd hand 2005 model) Honda CRV next weekend
Matthew sold his beat up old ute
Matthew's sister had her 2nd child last week, a baby boy named James
I went home and saw Mum on the weekend and she is going to be ok
School has been like a gentle haven from all the other stuff going on
This has been the first thing I've written since my week at Varuna. And I call myself a writer. Huh.
Big love to Brad and Bonnie who are probably the only two souls who will ever read this. Thank you for your thoughts.
Friday, April 18, 2008
22 Weeks
It's been a crazy two weeks. We had three visitors for the last week of term 1. My lounge room was like the United Nations; a guy from England a girl from Canada and three Aussies! It was great to see them again but it was exhausting too, trying to wrap up the school term and then come home and cook dinner, make conversation etc.
My Mum and Dad have gone to Bali with my sisters and their families. I miss them and worry about them.
But other than that, everything is going well. We saw the doctor on Thursday and he said everything looked "perfect" both on the scan and according to my blood pressure and measurements.
I can feel the baby kicking and moving often and it is such a good feeling. I feel like asking everyone "Did you feel that?" As though it's an earth tremour everyone could experience!
I've spent the first part of the holidays camping and then back at home "nesting". I've begun preparing a nursery and cleaned out cupboards that were long overdue. I really enjoy being in my home and sorting through things and organising stuff, but it is hard work and I have been sleeping for ten and eleven hours each night.
This week though - a well earned rest. I am going to the Blue Mountains near Sydney for one week. I won a place at Varuna the Writer's House (one of five places from 375 applicants!!). At Varuna I can work on my manuscript. It's a young adult fiction about a 17 year old boy and I've called the story Measuring Up. It's about his journey through that final school year and the way he changes his perception of himself and his relationships, how he defines himself.
I've meddled around in the writing world for a while with some small successes but no publishing deals yet. I mainly write for young adults.
Anyway I had best sign off. We are going to Bateman's Bay to look at a car. Another big "people mover" to replace Matt's ute. Matt's in a frenzy about getting away on time and running to schedule. I love him but sometimes I just want to give him an enema to help relieve his anal retentive tendancies.
My Mum and Dad have gone to Bali with my sisters and their families. I miss them and worry about them.
But other than that, everything is going well. We saw the doctor on Thursday and he said everything looked "perfect" both on the scan and according to my blood pressure and measurements.
I can feel the baby kicking and moving often and it is such a good feeling. I feel like asking everyone "Did you feel that?" As though it's an earth tremour everyone could experience!
I've spent the first part of the holidays camping and then back at home "nesting". I've begun preparing a nursery and cleaned out cupboards that were long overdue. I really enjoy being in my home and sorting through things and organising stuff, but it is hard work and I have been sleeping for ten and eleven hours each night.
This week though - a well earned rest. I am going to the Blue Mountains near Sydney for one week. I won a place at Varuna the Writer's House (one of five places from 375 applicants!!). At Varuna I can work on my manuscript. It's a young adult fiction about a 17 year old boy and I've called the story Measuring Up. It's about his journey through that final school year and the way he changes his perception of himself and his relationships, how he defines himself.
I've meddled around in the writing world for a while with some small successes but no publishing deals yet. I mainly write for young adults.
Anyway I had best sign off. We are going to Bateman's Bay to look at a car. Another big "people mover" to replace Matt's ute. Matt's in a frenzy about getting away on time and running to schedule. I love him but sometimes I just want to give him an enema to help relieve his anal retentive tendancies.
Friday, April 4, 2008
20 Weeks
It's lunchtime on Saturday and I'm still in my PJ's. Matt's playing golf and I slept until 10. Life is good!
We had the 2nd Trimester Ultrasound on Wednesday and according to one of the pictures, my baby is the love-child from the rock group KISS. The ultra sound technician was most impressed with the image that screened so well we could see the baby's eye lenses even through the closed lids - she printed it out quickly and we tried not to look astonished! We are having an alien!
The other images she printed were great. One is a gorgeous sleeping baby. The other image shows the feet. You can count the ten toes! Everything measured in correctly at 19 weeks except for the legs which measure at 21 weeks! (I have long legs and both Matt and I are near to 6 ft).
We saw the heart, kidneys, stomach, lips, ears, eyes, legs, arms, spine etc. She took lots of measurements and assured us that the kidneys and bladder appeared to be working and that things seemed ok. The technicians are always pretty guarded though, I guess they're not doctors and can't tell you too much. I wished she would tell me my child was 100% perfect and healthy and would grow to solve the challenge of world peace, cure cancer and bring back into balance the environmental disasters we are facing. (I don't want much!!)
It was exciting to see the baby on screen but it felt surreal. It was like I was watching 60 minutes and they were showing an ultrasound. It didn't feel like my ultrasound, like our baby we were seeing!
So back to the doctor on Monday and he will have looked at the images and no doubt assure me that I have a world changing young person in-utero.
I told the kids at school this week. Here are two of my favourite responses:
From a 5 year old boy "You should name the baby Princess"
From a 5 year old girl "You know that baby's drinking your blood right now."
All the kids and parents were really happy for me and for Matt. I've been given plenty of hugs, some cards and gifts and lots of well-wishes already. There's much excitement and speculation about the name, gender and due date. Most touching are the Mums who ask if I'll return to work at this school and I've been told "We'd hate to lose you" many times.
This week we test drove a second hand Honda CRV. We are looking for something to replace Matt's ute that only seats two. I drive a little zippy Holden Astra Hatchback which we'll keep for me and the bub, but now we need a family car. The same day I drove home the Honda (a big SUV), a friend gave me her baby car seat and a baby bassinet. I drove home and nearly ran off the road when I looked in the rear vision mirror and saw a car seat and all the baby stuff. I thought "Holy Crap - I'm a soccer mum!"
I'm very tired this week. Kindergarten is a busy place - swimming carnival on Tuesday, Pirate Party on Thursday, Major Assembly on next Monday, Cross Country Carnival next week. Being pregnant has put a bit of a handbrake on my energy levels and by 3:30pm I'm ready for bed.
On Thursday, we visited a friend who has a five week old baby (her first). She was sitting on the lounge, breast feeding with the remote in her hand. And whilst I'm sure she'd had a tough day I was a little peeved when she looked at me, slumped on the lounge and said - "You seem a little stressed, are you worried about how it's all going to go?" And whilst I know she was well-intentioned, I felt like saying: "I have just dealt with 25 kids - helped them make pirate hats and pirate parrots and hosted a pirate party to celebrate the letter P. I did playground duty, tied up shoelaces, dealt with parents and searched through lost property for a hat with no name. This is not stress on my face, it's fatigue. How was Oprah today?" Hmmm - yes and maybe a touch hormonal as I reflect on it now!!
I hope you're all having a great weekend. If not, put your PJ's on. It helps.
We had the 2nd Trimester Ultrasound on Wednesday and according to one of the pictures, my baby is the love-child from the rock group KISS. The ultra sound technician was most impressed with the image that screened so well we could see the baby's eye lenses even through the closed lids - she printed it out quickly and we tried not to look astonished! We are having an alien!
The other images she printed were great. One is a gorgeous sleeping baby. The other image shows the feet. You can count the ten toes! Everything measured in correctly at 19 weeks except for the legs which measure at 21 weeks! (I have long legs and both Matt and I are near to 6 ft).
We saw the heart, kidneys, stomach, lips, ears, eyes, legs, arms, spine etc. She took lots of measurements and assured us that the kidneys and bladder appeared to be working and that things seemed ok. The technicians are always pretty guarded though, I guess they're not doctors and can't tell you too much. I wished she would tell me my child was 100% perfect and healthy and would grow to solve the challenge of world peace, cure cancer and bring back into balance the environmental disasters we are facing. (I don't want much!!)
It was exciting to see the baby on screen but it felt surreal. It was like I was watching 60 minutes and they were showing an ultrasound. It didn't feel like my ultrasound, like our baby we were seeing!
So back to the doctor on Monday and he will have looked at the images and no doubt assure me that I have a world changing young person in-utero.
I told the kids at school this week. Here are two of my favourite responses:
From a 5 year old boy "You should name the baby Princess"
From a 5 year old girl "You know that baby's drinking your blood right now."
All the kids and parents were really happy for me and for Matt. I've been given plenty of hugs, some cards and gifts and lots of well-wishes already. There's much excitement and speculation about the name, gender and due date. Most touching are the Mums who ask if I'll return to work at this school and I've been told "We'd hate to lose you" many times.
This week we test drove a second hand Honda CRV. We are looking for something to replace Matt's ute that only seats two. I drive a little zippy Holden Astra Hatchback which we'll keep for me and the bub, but now we need a family car. The same day I drove home the Honda (a big SUV), a friend gave me her baby car seat and a baby bassinet. I drove home and nearly ran off the road when I looked in the rear vision mirror and saw a car seat and all the baby stuff. I thought "Holy Crap - I'm a soccer mum!"
I'm very tired this week. Kindergarten is a busy place - swimming carnival on Tuesday, Pirate Party on Thursday, Major Assembly on next Monday, Cross Country Carnival next week. Being pregnant has put a bit of a handbrake on my energy levels and by 3:30pm I'm ready for bed.
On Thursday, we visited a friend who has a five week old baby (her first). She was sitting on the lounge, breast feeding with the remote in her hand. And whilst I'm sure she'd had a tough day I was a little peeved when she looked at me, slumped on the lounge and said - "You seem a little stressed, are you worried about how it's all going to go?" And whilst I know she was well-intentioned, I felt like saying: "I have just dealt with 25 kids - helped them make pirate hats and pirate parrots and hosted a pirate party to celebrate the letter P. I did playground duty, tied up shoelaces, dealt with parents and searched through lost property for a hat with no name. This is not stress on my face, it's fatigue. How was Oprah today?" Hmmm - yes and maybe a touch hormonal as I reflect on it now!!
I hope you're all having a great weekend. If not, put your PJ's on. It helps.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
19 Weeks
First of all - I'm sorry Uncle Brad. We had visitors over Easter and it was hard to get a minute alone to post last weekend. Here's a lengthy update....
19 Weeks!
I can hardly believe it. Every morning I wake up and there’s that tiny milli-second before you even remember who you are. Then I become conscious and quickly check my tummy to feel if what I think I know is real!
I have gained 6kgs since conception and now weight 70kgs. My “bump” has completely popped out and I’m beginning to feel less like I’m fat and more like I’m pregnant! Yesterday Matt and I drove to Bateman’s Bay so I could buy some maternity clothes at K-Mart. It felt so good to put something on that actually fit. I’ve been wearing my pants and shorts with one button undone and occasionally, the zip pulled down as well!
The absolute most exciting thing is the movement. From 16 ½ weeks I’ve been feeling little kicks and rolls. The very first flutter I ever felt was at 14 weeks, but back then I couldn’t be sure. It was like a bird was flapping in my uterus! Now, I’m certain of what I feel. Sometimes I can (and Matthew can) even feel the little punch on the outside. It reminds me of popcorn – like a little piece popping up to touch the lid of the saucepan. I love it when I feel it – I get this goofy smile on my face and it’s nearly impossible not to touch my stomach and ask others – did you feel that? It’s like my own private mini-earth tremor and I can’t believe everyone around me doesn’t have the same sense of wonder on their faces when it happens!
I also feel it roll sometimes. The first time that happened I was laying in bed and I thought an alien was going to burst up out of my skin. It was the strangest sensation. Now that I’m more familiar with it, I can enjoy it more. After it rolls I can usually feel with my hands where it is. Sometimes I’m sure I can feel something harder and rounder like maybe a head or back and other times something just small and firm like maybe a leg.
Last week I had a scary moment. It was Thursday and I was at school. I had had some twingey pain under my right rib all day but I wasn’t in pain, just a little uncomfortable. My class were about to go to Library, it was lunch time and I popped down to the loo (toilet) only to find two tiny spots on my undies – reminiscent of the whole spotting-bleeding saga back at 7 weeks. I panicked in a full Lady MacBeth kind of way (out damn spot) thinking that something terrible was beginning.
I left my kids with the teacher librarian and called Matty and went straight to the doctors. They fitted me in straight away. For some reason, even though I was worried I didn’t have that deep worry that I had back at 7 weeks. I could feel the baby kicking me as I drove along and I knew somehow that everything was going to be okay. At the doctors, he immediately did an ultrasound scan and reassured me that everything was fine. We saw the four chambers of the heart – beating away healthily. There was a student doctor in the room too and I think she was more excited that me to see the heart chambers! I was just so relieved. The spotting did not continue (and I wonder now if it really was spotting) and the pain was put down to ligaments shifting, pressure on the bladder, changing shape etc. I have felt some twinges of pain since then, but nothing to worry about.
So today the big news is going in the school Newsletter. A kid at school (local mouth from the south) has already asked me if I’m pregnant and I’m sure some of the mothers are looking at me knowingly!!
We’ve started gathering up all the bits and pieces people are lending us and giving us – cradle, blankets, clothes, bootees and so on. It is a lovely and exciting time. Last weekend I started crotcheting a baby rug. The child may be 21 before it’s completed, but it’s the thought that counts!!
On Wednesday we’re having a long ultrasound that takes about an hour. It is done at Radiology and I can’t wait. People have told me the medical imaging is amazing. But, then again, this whole experience is amazing. With each passing day I’m becoming more and more excited.
19 Weeks!
I can hardly believe it. Every morning I wake up and there’s that tiny milli-second before you even remember who you are. Then I become conscious and quickly check my tummy to feel if what I think I know is real!
I have gained 6kgs since conception and now weight 70kgs. My “bump” has completely popped out and I’m beginning to feel less like I’m fat and more like I’m pregnant! Yesterday Matt and I drove to Bateman’s Bay so I could buy some maternity clothes at K-Mart. It felt so good to put something on that actually fit. I’ve been wearing my pants and shorts with one button undone and occasionally, the zip pulled down as well!
The absolute most exciting thing is the movement. From 16 ½ weeks I’ve been feeling little kicks and rolls. The very first flutter I ever felt was at 14 weeks, but back then I couldn’t be sure. It was like a bird was flapping in my uterus! Now, I’m certain of what I feel. Sometimes I can (and Matthew can) even feel the little punch on the outside. It reminds me of popcorn – like a little piece popping up to touch the lid of the saucepan. I love it when I feel it – I get this goofy smile on my face and it’s nearly impossible not to touch my stomach and ask others – did you feel that? It’s like my own private mini-earth tremor and I can’t believe everyone around me doesn’t have the same sense of wonder on their faces when it happens!
I also feel it roll sometimes. The first time that happened I was laying in bed and I thought an alien was going to burst up out of my skin. It was the strangest sensation. Now that I’m more familiar with it, I can enjoy it more. After it rolls I can usually feel with my hands where it is. Sometimes I’m sure I can feel something harder and rounder like maybe a head or back and other times something just small and firm like maybe a leg.
Last week I had a scary moment. It was Thursday and I was at school. I had had some twingey pain under my right rib all day but I wasn’t in pain, just a little uncomfortable. My class were about to go to Library, it was lunch time and I popped down to the loo (toilet) only to find two tiny spots on my undies – reminiscent of the whole spotting-bleeding saga back at 7 weeks. I panicked in a full Lady MacBeth kind of way (out damn spot) thinking that something terrible was beginning.
I left my kids with the teacher librarian and called Matty and went straight to the doctors. They fitted me in straight away. For some reason, even though I was worried I didn’t have that deep worry that I had back at 7 weeks. I could feel the baby kicking me as I drove along and I knew somehow that everything was going to be okay. At the doctors, he immediately did an ultrasound scan and reassured me that everything was fine. We saw the four chambers of the heart – beating away healthily. There was a student doctor in the room too and I think she was more excited that me to see the heart chambers! I was just so relieved. The spotting did not continue (and I wonder now if it really was spotting) and the pain was put down to ligaments shifting, pressure on the bladder, changing shape etc. I have felt some twinges of pain since then, but nothing to worry about.
So today the big news is going in the school Newsletter. A kid at school (local mouth from the south) has already asked me if I’m pregnant and I’m sure some of the mothers are looking at me knowingly!!
We’ve started gathering up all the bits and pieces people are lending us and giving us – cradle, blankets, clothes, bootees and so on. It is a lovely and exciting time. Last weekend I started crotcheting a baby rug. The child may be 21 before it’s completed, but it’s the thought that counts!!
On Wednesday we’re having a long ultrasound that takes about an hour. It is done at Radiology and I can’t wait. People have told me the medical imaging is amazing. But, then again, this whole experience is amazing. With each passing day I’m becoming more and more excited.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Nearly 17 weeks
WOW - that last post was so sad. I've come a long way in just a few days!
I was hoping to post an exciting 16 week update, but my doctor didn't do the scan I was expecting - so stay tuned for the 2nd of April. That's when I'll have the big scan. They check the heart, kidneys etc. I don't care. I just want to see the little critter on the screen!
I've been feeling pretty rough, but the last two days I seem to have "come good" (gee I'm sounding Aussie tonight!). Boobs are still growing and doing weird things (details not necessary), no pain or bleeding from any of the other bits (thumbs up), occasional debilitating headaches and the odd morning of heaving up bile.
Last night I dreamt (you'll love this Brad) that I had twin...... puppies!! Oh they were so cute and their little eyes weren't open and they were making that smoochy noise. And the love I felt.... oh - wow!! Yes I know, I know - stop laughing. But it was a nice dream, in a strange canine kind of way.
Other than that I feel fat (and not cute basket ball in the tummy fat but blobby wobbly tummy, rolls on rolls kind of fat). I've been madly crunching numbers, looking at our finances and trying to work out my work situation for next year. I don't want to tell the kids and parents at school until I can answer their questions about my arrangements for next year. I think some Mums are already suspiscious... the big tum's a dead give away!
More soon.
I was hoping to post an exciting 16 week update, but my doctor didn't do the scan I was expecting - so stay tuned for the 2nd of April. That's when I'll have the big scan. They check the heart, kidneys etc. I don't care. I just want to see the little critter on the screen!
I've been feeling pretty rough, but the last two days I seem to have "come good" (gee I'm sounding Aussie tonight!). Boobs are still growing and doing weird things (details not necessary), no pain or bleeding from any of the other bits (thumbs up), occasional debilitating headaches and the odd morning of heaving up bile.
Last night I dreamt (you'll love this Brad) that I had twin...... puppies!! Oh they were so cute and their little eyes weren't open and they were making that smoochy noise. And the love I felt.... oh - wow!! Yes I know, I know - stop laughing. But it was a nice dream, in a strange canine kind of way.
Other than that I feel fat (and not cute basket ball in the tummy fat but blobby wobbly tummy, rolls on rolls kind of fat). I've been madly crunching numbers, looking at our finances and trying to work out my work situation for next year. I don't want to tell the kids and parents at school until I can answer their questions about my arrangements for next year. I think some Mums are already suspiscious... the big tum's a dead give away!
More soon.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
15 Weeks
Not much tonight.
I've had quite an emotional weekend, travelling up to Evans Head to see my neice and nephew for my Neice's 21st birthday. Emotional because these are my brother's children - he suicided 17 years ago, when they were very young. They have grown to be such beautiful people. I am proud of them. They are both so excited about my baby.
Sometimes there are no words.
I've had quite an emotional weekend, travelling up to Evans Head to see my neice and nephew for my Neice's 21st birthday. Emotional because these are my brother's children - he suicided 17 years ago, when they were very young. They have grown to be such beautiful people. I am proud of them. They are both so excited about my baby.
Sometimes there are no words.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
14 Weeks
Hello World - I'm back.
I hadn't anticipated how strange things would be once we went "public" with our news. There's been much joy and celebration. My Mother-In-Law (think Maree from Everybody Loves Raymond) said "Well we've been waiting a long time for this." I tried not to look took scathing as I replied "You have, I haven't."
But overwhelmingly the feeling is one of happiness and excitement. People tell me what a great Mum I will be and I try hard not to look astonished (because truly I haven't really thought that far ahead, not in great detail, just to the point of getting it out really!).
The best response was from my colleagues who I told at about one mintue to nine before the bell rang for lessons to start. By 11am, there was a full morning tea for me including flowers and gifts! They are such lovely people. All of them are parents, some grandparents, and yet they all give me the same advice - don't listen to any advice!
Matthew and I have started a list of names and we even bought a little baby outfit yesterday! Cluck cluck cluck! I vacilate between extreme happiness and extreme saddness. I am either anxious or relaxed. I can't seem to settle on a happy medium, so today I've rewarded myself with a day off to chill out. Bloody hormones.
A big BIG thank you to all the excited well-wishers who left me happy and encouraging messages. I'm not sure about projectile lactation and I'm not sure I really want to know... but thanks again!
A cyber hug to my Uncle Brad who I know is thinking of me. I've been thinking of him too and imagining his bitchy reply to my local shop owner who asked me outright if I was preganant because "You look like you've put on a lot of weight!"
More again soon. Assume no news is good news.
I hadn't anticipated how strange things would be once we went "public" with our news. There's been much joy and celebration. My Mother-In-Law (think Maree from Everybody Loves Raymond) said "Well we've been waiting a long time for this." I tried not to look took scathing as I replied "You have, I haven't."
But overwhelmingly the feeling is one of happiness and excitement. People tell me what a great Mum I will be and I try hard not to look astonished (because truly I haven't really thought that far ahead, not in great detail, just to the point of getting it out really!).
The best response was from my colleagues who I told at about one mintue to nine before the bell rang for lessons to start. By 11am, there was a full morning tea for me including flowers and gifts! They are such lovely people. All of them are parents, some grandparents, and yet they all give me the same advice - don't listen to any advice!
Matthew and I have started a list of names and we even bought a little baby outfit yesterday! Cluck cluck cluck! I vacilate between extreme happiness and extreme saddness. I am either anxious or relaxed. I can't seem to settle on a happy medium, so today I've rewarded myself with a day off to chill out. Bloody hormones.
A big BIG thank you to all the excited well-wishers who left me happy and encouraging messages. I'm not sure about projectile lactation and I'm not sure I really want to know... but thanks again!
A cyber hug to my Uncle Brad who I know is thinking of me. I've been thinking of him too and imagining his bitchy reply to my local shop owner who asked me outright if I was preganant because "You look like you've put on a lot of weight!"
More again soon. Assume no news is good news.
Monday, February 11, 2008
12 Weeks
Taaaa Dum!
I did it! 12 weeks and an ultrasound today. A little babe floating and waving and wriggling inside me. No wonder I'm tired!
I feel truly special.
ps Sorry Uncle Brad I just... kinda got busy. I wanted to post but also wanted to wait. I won't leave it so long next time. Thank you for just being you.
I did it! 12 weeks and an ultrasound today. A little babe floating and waving and wriggling inside me. No wonder I'm tired!
I feel truly special.
ps Sorry Uncle Brad I just... kinda got busy. I wanted to post but also wanted to wait. I won't leave it so long next time. Thank you for just being you.
Friday, February 1, 2008
11 Weeks
Ok here's how I feel at 11 weeks pregnant.
*Boobs aren't that sore any more, just at random times.
*Feel a bit sick in the mornings and occasionally have a gagging fit which includes terrible retching noises but fortunately, no vomit.
*I can smell anything. Something in the pantry smells odd, but I can't track it down. Other times, I open the cupboard and it smells fine.
*Not really fussed about any food (and I'm usually a foodie).
*Lazy - but that's pretty close to my normal behaviour/feeling.
*Nervous, particularly when going to the toilet.
*I now have veins on my boobs and hips that are kind of fascinating but also a bit horrifying.
*I can become ferocious, like VERY BAD PMS. Also weepy and I don't like reading or hearing anything sad - especially related to babies, motherhood, pregnancy etc etc etc. Super sensitive.
*Frustrated. I'd like to be able to have another ultrasound and check eevrything's ok and I'd like to tell everyone, but I also want to wait until I'm at 12 weeks. My next Drs Apptmt is on the 11th of Feb. We'll tell husband's parents, his sister, my sisters & friends after the 16th.
*I have the most vivid and whacked out dreams. I've had lots of sexual dreams, like a threesome and sex with an old man who was a truckie (? I know???). I dream about confronting people I dislike and all kinds of other weird stuff. It's like I'm on a trip every night.
*A tiny part of me is bursting with hope. I can see myself holding a little one and feeling blissfully happy. I can imagine a child running up to my husband and saying "Daddy!" I have a vision of a child growing up to become someone worthwhile and a sense within myself that I created that wonderful person.
*Boobs aren't that sore any more, just at random times.
*Feel a bit sick in the mornings and occasionally have a gagging fit which includes terrible retching noises but fortunately, no vomit.
*I can smell anything. Something in the pantry smells odd, but I can't track it down. Other times, I open the cupboard and it smells fine.
*Not really fussed about any food (and I'm usually a foodie).
*Lazy - but that's pretty close to my normal behaviour/feeling.
*Nervous, particularly when going to the toilet.
*I now have veins on my boobs and hips that are kind of fascinating but also a bit horrifying.
*I can become ferocious, like VERY BAD PMS. Also weepy and I don't like reading or hearing anything sad - especially related to babies, motherhood, pregnancy etc etc etc. Super sensitive.
*Frustrated. I'd like to be able to have another ultrasound and check eevrything's ok and I'd like to tell everyone, but I also want to wait until I'm at 12 weeks. My next Drs Apptmt is on the 11th of Feb. We'll tell husband's parents, his sister, my sisters & friends after the 16th.
*I have the most vivid and whacked out dreams. I've had lots of sexual dreams, like a threesome and sex with an old man who was a truckie (? I know???). I dream about confronting people I dislike and all kinds of other weird stuff. It's like I'm on a trip every night.
*A tiny part of me is bursting with hope. I can see myself holding a little one and feeling blissfully happy. I can imagine a child running up to my husband and saying "Daddy!" I have a vision of a child growing up to become someone worthwhile and a sense within myself that I created that wonderful person.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Surviving
I've survived my first week (abbreviated though it was) back at school. My new class of Kinder kids are funny and gorgeous!
Today and yesterday I've felt good, but I'm getting a little "toilet anxiety". Not sure if 'things' are looking the right colour.
Tomorrow will be week 11. So close and yet so far.
Today and yesterday I've felt good, but I'm getting a little "toilet anxiety". Not sure if 'things' are looking the right colour.
Tomorrow will be week 11. So close and yet so far.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Anxious
Woke up feeling anxious and worried. No real reason. Husband's better, dog's OK. I'm back to work today - I teach kindergarten and started off a brand new class. Maybe that was it? I couldn't help myself - off to the toilet all the time, checking, checking. My little mantra hardly calmed me.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.
Friday, January 25, 2008
10 Weeks - The dog, the husband and me.
According to my Doctor's calculations, I am 10 weeks pregnant today. Only two more weeks until the supposed "safer zone". I know that whilst pregnancy (and rearing a child for that matter) is a minefield of potential complications, I will feel a lot better once I've made it to 12 weeks. After 12 weeks, we're going to tell our family and friends. That's the worst part, keeping it to yourself when you occasionally just feel like getting really excited and talking about nursery furniture or knitting a blanket or names you like!
My pregnancy is the least of the worries today. Our first child, Shirley the Golden Retriever, had a second knee surgery yesterday. She's all shaved again on her right hind leg and looks like she's wearing one ugh boot! When she's not sleeping, she's lick, lick, licking her stitches which kind of sounds like slow sand paper scraping and is pretty unpleasant, but we love her and so we tolerate it. I hate seeing her all groggy and un-co-ordinated. Her eyes look really mournful, but the tail still works and thumps along whenever I'm near. I was a lot better taking her in for surgery this time and I didn't cry or anything. I hope that now she has the meniscus (or however it's spelt) removed that she will be able to feel more comfortable and be more mobile. I hope we've put years ON her life, since she's only seven.
My husband's also sick. He's got a fever and cold sweats, but still soldiered on to work today as he's doing a "mates-rates" job for a friend (a good friend too since it's the Australia Day long weekend here). He got part way through having a shave and had to come back to bed for a lay down. He works as a cabinet making, building kitchens etc and I worry about him using machinery and power tools when he's not feeling 100% but he can't be told, so I just gave him a kiss and watched him shiver his way into the glorious 25 degree Celsius morning!
Between the dog licking and smelling of the hospital, husband shivering and sweating and trembling and me, gagging with morning sickness over the kitchen sink, we would have made a funny little picture this morning!
Ohhh - I feel a song coming on... every little thing, is gonna be alright. (It's become my mantra and I even sing it out loud!!)
My pregnancy is the least of the worries today. Our first child, Shirley the Golden Retriever, had a second knee surgery yesterday. She's all shaved again on her right hind leg and looks like she's wearing one ugh boot! When she's not sleeping, she's lick, lick, licking her stitches which kind of sounds like slow sand paper scraping and is pretty unpleasant, but we love her and so we tolerate it. I hate seeing her all groggy and un-co-ordinated. Her eyes look really mournful, but the tail still works and thumps along whenever I'm near. I was a lot better taking her in for surgery this time and I didn't cry or anything. I hope that now she has the meniscus (or however it's spelt) removed that she will be able to feel more comfortable and be more mobile. I hope we've put years ON her life, since she's only seven.
My husband's also sick. He's got a fever and cold sweats, but still soldiered on to work today as he's doing a "mates-rates" job for a friend (a good friend too since it's the Australia Day long weekend here). He got part way through having a shave and had to come back to bed for a lay down. He works as a cabinet making, building kitchens etc and I worry about him using machinery and power tools when he's not feeling 100% but he can't be told, so I just gave him a kiss and watched him shiver his way into the glorious 25 degree Celsius morning!
Between the dog licking and smelling of the hospital, husband shivering and sweating and trembling and me, gagging with morning sickness over the kitchen sink, we would have made a funny little picture this morning!
Ohhh - I feel a song coming on... every little thing, is gonna be alright. (It's become my mantra and I even sing it out loud!!)
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